The day of the Caroline Hili show last Sunday went down like any other day during Malta Fashion Week. In case you’re wondering: I wake up late. Jog. Shower. Have a healthy juice and a quick bite. Pamper myself. Or I try to anyway. Throw some stuff on and get my ass to Valletta. Greet the designer backstage. Have a peek. Find my seat and wait for the models to start trotting out. Oh and I had to go to Gozo and come back amidst all that, but that’s a story for another day. This time around, another thrill came minutes before the show started.
A photographer came over while I was talking to some readers and taking selfies (guilty as charged) and asked if he could take a shot. I obviously gave him the go ahead while I posed in a very fashion blogger manner. Smile, peace sign and all. That’s when I heard the woman standing behind me.
“Imnalla jaf jilbes u tad-daħq dan t’hawn… Għax vera ikrah it-tifel.”
Translates to ‘Thank God he’s funny and dresses well, cos he sure is ugly,’ for you English peeps.
Now had it been any other time and place, I wouldn’t have hesitated to snap at the woman. I didn’t wanna cause a commotion, and she had a child with her. And I’m not that type of guy. But I did look her in the eye and she realized I heard it loud and clear.
I didn’t think about it at first and just found my seat and enjoyed the show on the Renzo Piano Steps. By the way, amazing show Caroline!
But then I got home and that’s where I get emotional. Did my style and humour make up for ‘beauty’? I couldn’t stop thinking about it. And I was so angry at myself for letting one bump shake me when I get hundreds of nice comments and messages on a daily basis, but then it hit me.
What I do has nothing to do with beauty. The word beauty never crosses my mind really. Personal style doesn’t require you to be model-faced or model-thin, cos it’s not about how you look but what you say through your clothes and how you carry them. And that’s why my fashion blog is my safe haven – I can be myself, flaws and all. But now that I’m conscious about all this… I’d like to think my readers follow me cos they relate to me for not being a dropdead beautiful fashion blogger with a perfect face and body. I’m just a normal guy with something to share and something to say.
Scratch that, a lot to say.
More importantly though, I like the way I look. I have insecurities like any other human being, but I grew to accept my flaws cos as corny as it sounds – they really do make me who I am. I know my nose will always be a bit too big cos my mother has it too. So if I think she’s beautiful I guess I’ll be just fine. My weight will always yo-yo all over the place and I will always have a little lisp. So even if all that makes me ugly to that woman and God knows how many others… It’s okay. Some of us will never be models, and who cares? Flaws and genetics are the maps of what we’ve all been through, and I’m happy to say… I like what I see.