Ever since I debuted the Ask page on my blog (and Facebook messages before that) I have had more one-on-one time with my readers. Some just ask for casual advice about what to wear and some just ask me how old I am. A lot of others go a step further, and these are the ones I was never prepared for.
‘Hi Daniel. I’m a size 22 and I never feel good in anything I wear. What can I do?’
‘My peers make fun of me when I wear the clothes I wanna wear.’
‘I’m writing you this message crying cos people tell me I’m ugly and I feel like giving up. No one cares about me.’
And those are the softest three examples I can share with you guys. It truly breaks my heart even though I really appreciate the fact that people find some sort of comfort in opening up to me. Anonymously or not. Sometimes I stand there for a couple of minutes not knowing what to write back. What do I know that can make these people feel better?
But I do know.
When it comes to fashion, society teaches us that we need to look a certain way. Men need to be masculine. Women need to be sexy. Everyone needs to be slim. This in turn creates a lot of insecurity among all of us. Gay men feel pressured to dress a way that does not give away their orientation. Bigger girls try to squeeze themselves into tinier garments to look thinner. And that is not okay.
I have been a victim of bullying and conforming all my life, even today. I was too weird during the primary school years. Too lonely at secondary school. Too gay after that. Too flamboyant when I started by blog. Nowadays a lot of industry big heads look down on me cos of the way I dress and what I do. So much so that at times of weakness I doubted everything I have worked for, forgetting what I stand for. But not anymore.
Yes it’s okay to be a size 22 and no you don’t need to lose weight. You can if you want to but know that it doesn’t make you any less beautiful than a size 2. Yes those hips are wide but dayum gurl they look smashing! Haaaay little gay boy! I know people can be horrible but you will grow up to be F-A-B.
It took me a while to realize why I do what I do and if there is any purpose to it, but now I know. What I stand for is people being happy in their own gear and skin, and my purpose is to make people smile. If I can tear down some fashion obstacles and make people dress like a better version of themselves in the process WHY NOT? My blog is a place my readers can feel good about themselves regardless of their sex, weight, shape and everything else.
And isn’t that the beauty of personal style? Style doesn’t care about your ‘flaws’… Style celebrates them! It’s not about looking good and it sure as Hell isn’t about conforming… It’s about feeling good. You do you girl – no one is gonna do it for you.
Over ‘n’ out? Love ya guys.
‘Int bis-Serjeta?’ sweatshirt by Marco Parascandalo, beanie by Alexander Wang X H&M, leather biker pants by Zara, creepers by Underground