Thinking about going to Malta Fashion Week with your parents kicking off in exactly a month’s time but don’t know how to explain what it’s all about? What goes on at the shows? If it’s worth skipping a night of studying for??? Well lucky for you I’m here to list all the things parents need to know about Malta Fashion Week. Everything should be taken with a pinch of salt.

– Like I said in my previous post about reasons NOT to date a fashion person, fashion people are always late. Bless them. So if the show is scheduled to start at 8pm… It’s completely okaaay to leave home at that time. Unless the show venue is in the middle of nowhere. In that case take a map and a compass. And just pray Michelle Muscat is stuck in traffic or can’t decide what to wear. The show starts when she’s in the house.

– If that didn’t work out you can always show your mum the wonders of Instagram to check out what’s happening at the show you missed. Common fashion week rule: Instagram it or it didn’t happen. Your favourite fashion blogger is obviously taking pictures of everything and everyone in sight.

– The front row is reserved for the fashion elite – be it media, politicians, celebs, esteemed clients, bloggers and the occasional nanna wearing her mother of the bride ensemble that sat down, stole your seat and won’t budge. Not even if you threaten her with a pen. Feel free to photobomb if you’re on the second row – some people on the front need to chill out in front of photographers.

– Do not. I repeat. DO NOT talk to photographers camped at the end of the runway before the show starts. They’re hungry and super stressed about who has the best position for photos to talk to you and God forbid, take a photo of you.

– Charles & Ron is Malta’s equivalent of the Chanel show in Paris. If you’re not there, how do I say this… WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Support local designers people.

– The ones wearing outlandish outfits, crazy prints and hats sitting in front are either A) Carina Camilleri B) Marisa Grima or C) Daniel Azzopardi. I heard the last one is highly likely to pose with a peace sign and pout if you ask him for a selfie together.

– Coats and jackets on your shoulders instantly make you 300% more fashionable. No questions asked mum and dad.

– No mum the afterparty is not at Havana. “Then why is everyone wearing a cocktail dress and 10-inch heels?” I don’t know. Fashion week is about celebrating personal style, and that does NOT mean you have to be sexy or vulgar Malta. Leave the cocktail dresses for cocktail parties and the stripper heels for the Gżira street corners.

– When the show is over and the designer takes his/her bow, it’s your turn to clap in chorus, pretend you like it (even if it’s not up your alley) and rush out at the speed of light. Makes you wonder why the 20-minute show took you 5 hours to get ready for and get to. You can also stay for an after-show drink, or 10, to prolong your fashion high and excitement.

– Speaking of drinks… Fashion people make good drinking buddies. Make sure you know your fashion vocabulary well. “Obsessed”, “Too much”, “Faqa oħt” are the most used ones when describing the show you just witnessed.

Mercedez-Benz Malta Fashion Week is between the 24th-31st of May. Reserve your show seats here.

THOUGHTS?